I don't have experience but I would think that you should at least offer her to go along. She could probably use some fun girl talk. If she says no... ask if she would like you to bring some food back... I lost my grandfather in April and I live MILES (Michigan) away from my grandma and she is still living in the house alone. She is very lonely but doesn't want to live anywhere else. I call her twice a week just to chat. I can only imagine the feelings they must be feeling right now. Seriously 64 years my grandparents have been married 7 children 16 grandchildren and now 10 great grandchildren, war, jobs changes, going back to college, and now your other half is GONE... the one you went to sleep with everynight, you can't even pick up a phone just to hear their voice. I can't even imagine. Now I do know that you probably would like some time to your self and you should... But if she says no this time... say well maybe next time we go out you can come then. That way she will know this will be happening more than just once.

I am sorry for your lost and wish you and the family all the best!

Meredith

Oh, my. I wish I could help. I'm sure there's someone on here who had dealt with this. I would think that for the first few weeks (transition period), it would be nice to offer one or the other, but she's got to understand that you need some you time. I hope it all goes well and that you get some solid advice soon.

 I'm agreeing with the other ladies--I'd invite her but also let her know that you understand if she'd rather do something else. It's got to be such a huge adjustment already and I'm betting that she already is concerned about feeling out this new arrangement as well so she doesn't "intrude" or "impose"  

Talk with her and be honest about how you feel--that's the best way to figure this out. I'm so sorry for her and your loss....time will help and she is very lucky to have you guys. 

Kristina :)

"Believe in the sun, especially when it's not shining" -Barlow Girl song lyric

I am a geriatric social worker and what I see alot os social isolation in the elderly which leads to depression in the elderly (sorry, I don't know if this term applies to her) which can be worse than it is for us.  Plus she is probably already upset and grieving, which show similiar signs to depression.  Invite her along to keep her active and to help her feel more welcome in a new environment. 

What county are you in?  I can also get you the numbers to the senior centers and maybe she would enjoy the senior lunch program to meet others.  Many of the programs provide transportation and they include lunch and an activity at your local center. 

Let me know what I can do to help. 

 Marleena

http://peytonyoung.projectlittlefish.com

I did invite her to come along, or if she would rather have me bring back some food for her.  She declined both, and I told her that I didn't want her to feel like I was deserting her.  She said that she didn't.  She is still getting around really well.  She drives and accually drove her way out here (South Carolina) from Oklahoma, stopping to visit with her sisters for a few weeks.  She does not want any part of a senior center, it would make her feel old, and she does not feel that way.  But I am trying to get her involved in the older class at church.  They do lots of things together, and go on trips.  Waiting to see what comes next!!

It's going to be an adventure for both of you. But you'll find your groove. Keep inviting her from time to time, but not so much that she feels like you feel like you're obligated to invite her. (Did that make sense?)

Hang in there.

You are a brave and kind soul to open your home.  I know she will bring a lot of richness to your life and the lives of your kids!

Kelly

Master of the mommy universe, chances are I am racing about town in the minivan, listening to a dvd that I have heard 20 times, fielding questions about all manners of things while handing over snacks on our way to the next event.